10/16/04

Dear Pinkocommiebastard,
I've got this serious ass problem yo. Like I've got this mad crush on this dude--I'm totally infatuated--ya dig? But the thing is, he's kinda my boss and I'm an intern at a union and I think we've got rules against that. And not only that, but check this: dude is a capitalist (not a property owner but a supporter of the system). I've never dated a capitalist before!!! Firstly I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself if I dated a capitalist-- would I be selling out? Secondly, I don't even know where to begin!!! What do capitalists like talking about? How do I go about seducing him?

Cheers,
Starry Eyes on the Big Bucks boys

Dear Starry Eyes,
Would you be selling out? Fuck no. We've all heard that the "personal is political," but sometimes the personal is just plain personal. Your heart doesn't have to toe the party line.

Pinkocommiebastard has found that the best partners for reds are people who are generally supportive of our oh-so-adorable desire to save the world, but keep their own political participation limited to occasional voting (even if it's just for the next "American Idol"). These wonderful people keep us sane by completing our lives outside of activism. On the other hand, your lovelorn advice columnist has found that dating fellow political junkies inevitably leads to disagreement and fighting, regardless of political bent. Let's not kid ourselves; you've probably had more political arguments with comrades than with bona-fide capitalists, and it seems pretty clear that the free market apple of your eye is not so much a "capitalist" as a liberal working within the system. Yes, yes, he'll be up against the wall come the revolution, but in the meantime he's obviously a good guy, a union activist, trying to make the world a better place within his own self-imposed limits.

Union activist work is exciting, emotional and extremely social. You're working long hours together in tight quarters, under difficult circumstances, trying to inspire working people to be real rebels at work and stand up for their rights. It's a wonder you don't have a crush on all of your scruffy do-gooder co-workers. If you just want to have a fling with this guy, your seduction won't have to be particularly artful. The labor movement has a long, proud tradition of intense affairs between organizers during campaigns. Just being there and doing this work is sexy. And if you're going to be reassigned to another city when it's over, well, that just makes it more desirable and less risky.

If, however, you want a meaningful relationship, well, that's trickier. After all, he is your supervisor and there are rules against this sort of thing. Pinkocommiebastard has been there and done that, sister, except in the reverse role, and I'll tell you that nothing is going to happen, romantically, between you two until you've established a firm foundation of friendship and mutual respect and trust.

Love,
Pinkocommiebastard

Feeling pressure? The “Man” got you down? Politically frustrated? Sexually frustrated? Pinkocommiebastard’s got the advice that’s right for you. Send your questions to pinkocommiebastard@ypsl.org.